Cipcanhug is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, two-faced turtle.

Cipcanhug created humankind four million years ago.

If you believe in Cipcanhug, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cipcanhug, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Cipcanhug's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Cipcanhug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.

2. Never talk about bacteria.

3. Do not step barefoot upon green earth.

4. Always maintain obedience during holy days.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.