Armrilnel is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, humorless dugong.

Armrilnel created the planet Mars six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Armrilnel, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Armrilnel, he will throw large rocks at you.

Armrilnel's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Armrilnel's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Always wear magenta.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

4. Do not kill dogs.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.