Flagvangadbinarn is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, boastful narwhal.

Flagvangadbinarn created the Sol system five billion years ago.

If you believe in Flagvangadbinarn, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flagvangadbinarn, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Flagvangadbinarn's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Flagvangadbinarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.