Jadlimquim is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, ill-tempered fairy.

Jadlimquim created the Tadpole Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jadlimquim, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jadlimquim, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Jadlimquim's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Jadlimquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear jumpers marked with magenta.

2. Never cross mountains at midnight.

3. Always store garlic above ground.

4. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a building before entering it.

5. Do not record numbers concerning planets.