Quagpigrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, fast pig.

Quagpigrutt created vertebrates eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagpigrutt, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Quagpigrutt, he will refuse to believe in you.

Quagpigrutt's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Quagpigrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear scarves.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never chant while facing west.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Quagpigrutt on top of all buildings.

5. Always look after injured great tits.