Dutkopbus is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, moody hummingbird.

Dutkopbus created humanity five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutkopbus, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dutkopbus, he will come to you in dreams.

Dutkopbus' most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Dutkopbus' Holy Commandments

1. Never handle titanium while unclean.

2. Always treat mites with great respect.

3. Never mark doors with gray.

4. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

5. Always count to four before sleeping.