Gupfarqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, passionate porpoise.

Gupfarqueeg created oxygen two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gupfarqueeg, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gupfarqueeg, it will boil you in a big pot.

Gupfarqueeg's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Gupfarqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear ear rings marked with cyan.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not travel during summer.

4. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

5. Never touch ash while blessed.