Ontpodhitapp is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, almighty crow.

Ontpodhitapp created a top quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Ontpodhitapp, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ontpodhitapp, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Ontpodhitapp's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Ontpodhitapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your head toward the west during prayer.

2. Never stain your face with pink.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never feed lots of garlic to squirrels while wearing green ear rings.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching platinum.