Vedbedwab is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, thoughtless crab.

Vedbedwab created viruses three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vedbedwab, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vedbedwab, she will turn you into a frog.

Vedbedwab's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Vedbedwab's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your head before prayer.

2. Never stain your legs with white.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Vedbedwab in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always take life seriously.