Tungen Garpondid Japtardosshab is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, selfish gerbil.

Tungen Garpondid Japtardosshab created the planet Venus six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tungen Garpondid Japtardosshab, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tungen Garpondid Japtardosshab, it will turn you into a mouse.

Tungen Garpondid Japtardosshab's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Tungen Garpondid Japtardosshab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Do not resist balance.

3. Tungen Garpondid Japtardosshab loves eagles, so they must be respected.

4. Always wear plain rings during rituals.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching iron.