Hamcimpit is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, bad-tempered octopus.

Hamcimpit created snails seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamcimpit, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hamcimpit, she will try to impress you with trees.

Hamcimpit's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Hamcimpit's Holy Commandments

1. Always store limes above ground.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Erect three silicon sculptures of Hamcimpit on top of important buildings.

4. Always obey Hamcimpit's priests.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Hamcimpit.