Zanwipvid Af is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, stupid snake.

Zanwipvid Af created vertebrates nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zanwipvid Af, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Zanwipvid Af, he will turn you into a snail.

Zanwipvid Af's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Zanwipvid Af's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow birds to witness sacred rites.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Do not speak about lemons.

4. Always remove rings before touching silicon.

5. Always help sick rats.