Flagrillsom is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, witty eagle.

Flagrillsom created a bottom quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Flagrillsom, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flagrillsom, she will curse you with boils.

Flagrillsom's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Flagrillsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat nuts on fasting days.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

3. Do not step barefoot upon yellow earth.

4. Never remain bowed at midnight.

5. Never paint your back cyan.