Zaksandjin is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, vain slug.

Zaksandjin created a quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zaksandjin, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Zaksandjin, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Zaksandjin's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Zaksandjin's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from white mice, for they are unholy.

2. Never travel toward the north during summer.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Pray only in moonlight.