Fotjapjan Yarlflapwon Wikhadqueegliprill is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, caring coyote.

Fotjapjan Yarlflapwon Wikhadqueegliprill created parasitic wasps three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotjapjan Yarlflapwon Wikhadqueegliprill, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fotjapjan Yarlflapwon Wikhadqueegliprill, it will think nothing of it.

Fotjapjan Yarlflapwon Wikhadqueegliprill's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Fotjapjan Yarlflapwon Wikhadqueegliprill's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Fotjapjan Yarlflapwon Wikhadqueegliprill's priests.

2. Never allow monkeys to witness sacred rites.

3. Always help moths.

4. Never talk about dark energy near rats while wearing cyan corsets and balancing nine silver spheres on your hands.

5. Never approach mountains carrying clay.