Nelweebogtit Tipwan is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, two-faced jackal.

Nelweebogtit Tipwan created matter four years ago.

If you believe in Nelweebogtit Tipwan, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nelweebogtit Tipwan, she will turn you into a duck.

Nelweebogtit Tipwan's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Nelweebogtit Tipwan's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Never speak aloud of secrets.

3. Do not speak about parsnips.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics.