Bopfetfed is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unthinking octopus.

Bopfetfed created an electron four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bopfetfed, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bopfetfed, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Bopfetfed's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Bopfetfed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Bopfetfed on top of all buildings.

4. Always wear plain coats during rituals.

5. Remain standing during prayer.