Quattonkbod is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, unthinking lobster.

Quattonkbod created an atom three billion years ago.

If you believe in Quattonkbod, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Quattonkbod, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Quattonkbod's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Quattonkbod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics.

2. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

3. Do not take Quattonkbod's name in vain.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never adorn your back with yellow markings.