Afpadbet is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, omniscient armadillo.

Afpadbet created the Large Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Afpadbet, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Afpadbet, he will be very unhappy.

Afpadbet's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Afpadbet's Holy Commandments

1. Always share strawberries with strangers, but never with manatees.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching lead.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Afpadbet.

4. Do not wear fawn clothing.

5. Never chant in holy places.