Arf is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, sapient grasshopper.

Arf created the planet Saturn three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arf, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Arf, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Arf's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Arf's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear tights.

2. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Arf in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not prepare garlic while wearing shorts.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never record secrets.