Vanjarnpom is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, capable wasp.

Vanjarnpom created a charm quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vanjarnpom, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vanjarnpom, he will throw large rocks at you.

Vanjarnpom's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Vanjarnpom's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with anger.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Always store aubergines above ground.

5. Never think about special relativity near grasshopers while wearing magenta hats and balancing three silicon spheres on your chest.