Sidbafved is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, unthinking crocodile.

Sidbafved created the Small Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidbafved, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sidbafved, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Sidbafved's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Sidbafved's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never wear pink trousers.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sidbafved.

5. Pray only in darkness.