Arnlikarf is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, stupid cat.

Arnlikarf created water three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arnlikarf, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Arnlikarf, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Arnlikarf's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Arnlikarf's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. You must pray to Arnlikarf eight times a day.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not keep six dogs in a large pit.

5. Do not count beyond three during ceremonies.