Gofwapfen is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, annoying toad.

Gofwapfen created a photon six million years ago.

If you believe in Gofwapfen, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gofwapfen, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gofwapfen's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Gofwapfen's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Gofwapfen in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never point your head toward the east during prayer.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gofwapfen.

4. Always act with purity when addressing priests.

5. Do not chop down trees.