Vaghasdin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, humorless clam.

Vaghasdin created energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vaghasdin, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Vaghasdin, it will send you a sign.

Vaghasdin's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Vaghasdin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear dresses marked with orange.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never write about amino acids.

5. Heed all signs.