Teenrutgunbog is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, selfish manatee.

Teenrutgunbog created everything that exists nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenrutgunbog, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Teenrutgunbog, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Teenrutgunbog's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Teenrutgunbog's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silver sculpture of Teenrutgunbog on top of all buildings.

2. Always make sure there are no snakes in a room before entering it.

3. Teenrutgunbog loves voles, so they must be honoured.

4. Hide from turquoise doves for they are unholy.

5. Worship no other gods but Teenrutgunbog.