Lattoffat Vabspagzigmanbonfligponapp Yiktenbarn is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, ruthless finch.

Lattoffat Vabspagzigmanbonfligponapp Yiktenbarn created the Sun eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lattoffat Vabspagzigmanbonfligponapp Yiktenbarn, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Lattoffat Vabspagzigmanbonfligponapp Yiktenbarn, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Lattoffat Vabspagzigmanbonfligponapp Yiktenbarn's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Lattoffat Vabspagzigmanbonfligponapp Yiktenbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured nematodes.

2. Never wear tights.

3. Never jump in summer.

4. Do not wear magenta clothing.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.