Tigbidgof is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, merciful aardvark.

Tigbidgof created the Virgo Supercluster nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigbidgof, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tigbidgof, she will turn you into a plant.

Tigbidgof's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Tigbidgof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never feed lots of cucumbers to hamsters while wearing indigo rings.

3. Do not kill swans.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics.

5. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.