Tunbifpod Fasnurtcub is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, merciful coyote.

Tunbifpod Fasnurtcub created humankind two million years ago.

If you believe in Tunbifpod Fasnurtcub, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tunbifpod Fasnurtcub, he will throw large rocks at you.

Tunbifpod Fasnurtcub's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Tunbifpod Fasnurtcub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never paint your legs green.

3. Never point your feet toward the west during prayer.

4. Never stain your hands with purple.

5. Tunbifpod Fasnurtcub loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.