Fosspinmatfetbuskendan Sinparkpad Arnpangbenpom is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, generous snail.

Fosspinmatfetbuskendan Sinparkpad Arnpangbenpom created Europe four years ago.

If you believe in Fosspinmatfetbuskendan Sinparkpad Arnpangbenpom, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fosspinmatfetbuskendan Sinparkpad Arnpangbenpom, she will turn you into a puffin.

Fosspinmatfetbuskendan Sinparkpad Arnpangbenpom's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Fosspinmatfetbuskendan Sinparkpad Arnpangbenpom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not wear silver on your body.

3. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Fosspinmatfetbuskendan Sinparkpad Arnpangbenpom on top of all buildings.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Run away if six gulls approach from the north.