Flanzogtit is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, slow meerkat.

Flanzogtit created the planet Venus four million years ago.

If you believe in Flanzogtit, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Flanzogtit, he will not care.

Flanzogtit's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Flanzogtit's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine voles approach from the south.

2. Never remain standing at midnight.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not speak of quantum gravity near sacred fires.

5. Never eat lemons on days of mourning.