Botbastgun is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, effective narwhal.

Botbastgun created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Botbastgun, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Botbastgun, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Botbastgun's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Botbastgun's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch blood while tainted.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not record names concerning black holes.

4. Never allow doves to witness sacred rites.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.