Logwapbon is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, deceitful jackal.

Logwapbon created carbon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Logwapbon, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Logwapbon, he will come to you in dreams.

Logwapbon's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Logwapbon's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Logwapbon.

2. Never bounce in the presence of sheep.

3. Never think ill of sick cats.

4. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

5. Never mention seals.