Flownarthiv is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, blissful lizard.

Flownarthiv created Mount Everest three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flownarthiv, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flownarthiv, it will throw large rocks at you.

Flownarthiv's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Flownarthiv's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not prepare apples while wearing ear rings.

3. Always wash your arms before prayer.

4. Do not count beyond three during ceremonies.

5. Do not consume gooseberries at dawn.