Stafbatyatt is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, idiotic crab.

Stafbatyatt created gold eight million years ago.

If you believe in Stafbatyatt, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Stafbatyatt, she will come to you in dreams.

Stafbatyatt's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Stafbatyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Put Stafbatyatt first in all things.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Never talk about voles.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.