Mitfitquat is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, stupid mongoose.

Mitfitquat created the Tadpole Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mitfitquat, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Mitfitquat, she will turn you into a mole.

Mitfitquat's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Mitfitquat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about limes.

2. Worship no other gods but Mitfitquat.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never allow snails to witness sacred rites.

5. Do not kill monkeys.