Somhinwat is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, humorless seal.

Somhinwat created snails twelve years ago.

If you believe in Somhinwat, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Somhinwat, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Somhinwat's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Somhinwat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about special relativity.

2. Never speak of fate in the presence of strangers.

3. Do not hurt sharks.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not prepare spinach while wearing skirts.