Nurtvabdib is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, awe-inspiring bear.

Nurtvabdib created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtvabdib, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nurtvabdib, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Nurtvabdib's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Nurtvabdib's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always help mites in need.

3. Nurtvabdib must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching titanium.

5. Do not travel during winter.