Pangwatcun is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, slow lobster.

Pangwatcun created the planet Saturn five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangwatcun, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Pangwatcun, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Pangwatcun's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Pangwatcun's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of comets into wood.

2. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not wear turquoise clothing.