Somappwapsommutsit is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, self-assured finch.

Somappwapsommutsit created tapeworms seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Somappwapsommutsit, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Somappwapsommutsit, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Somappwapsommutsit's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Somappwapsommutsit's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross rivers at dusk.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.

3. Never approach crossroads carrying clay.

4. Erect five titanium sculptures of Somappwapsommutsit on top of important buildings.

5. Never carve symbols of stars into wood.