Hamdavbep is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, blissful human.

Hamdavbep created the Sun four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamdavbep, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hamdavbep, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Hamdavbep's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Hamdavbep's Holy Commandments

1. Put Hamdavbep first in all things.

2. Never travel toward the west during winter.

3. Hide from pink doves for they are unholy.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.