Lopapprot is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witless seal.

Lopapprot created a top quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Lopapprot, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lopapprot, she will turn you into a goat.

Lopapprot's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Lopapprot's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt moths.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always wear plain shorts during rituals.

5. Never approach forests carrying wood.