Nurtquimgud is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, staggering grasshopper.

Nurtquimgud created a Higgs boson seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurtquimgud, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nurtquimgud, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Nurtquimgud's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Nurtquimgud's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Always remove shoes before entering holy places.

5. Always act with humility when addressing priests.