Gabtamganteen is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, intelligent jellyfish.

Gabtamganteen created the Sun two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gabtamganteen, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gabtamganteen, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gabtamganteen's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Gabtamganteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Gabtamganteen's name in vain.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never speak of chaos in the presence of strangers.

4. Always cleanse water with water.

5. Pray towards the south.