Stanquimgon is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, awe-inspiring hippopotamus.

Stanquimgon created Asia eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stanquimgon, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Stanquimgon, it will turn you into a puffin.

Stanquimgon's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Stanquimgon's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Do not wear dresses marked with black.

3. Never eat tomatoes on holy days.

4. Never speak the names of nebulae aloud.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching nickel.