Stipnakgonbassistail is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, caring dove.

Stipnakgonbassistail created snails five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stipnakgonbassistail, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Stipnakgonbassistail, she will destroy your home planet.

Stipnakgonbassistail's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Stipnakgonbassistail's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Never think ill of sick sharks.

3. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching silver.

5. Never adorn your back with white markings.