Timcinweg is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, grumpy swan.

Timcinweg created an atom four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timcinweg, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Timcinweg, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Timcinweg's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Timcinweg's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three tortoises approach from the east.

2. Always treat manatees with great respect.

3. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

4. Remain standing during prayer.

5. Never skip in winter.