Tarplipbim is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, effective crocodile.

Tarplipbim created the cosmos nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarplipbim, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tarplipbim, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tarplipbim's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Tarplipbim's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of parsnips to hamsters while wearing indigo tights.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not name children after cats.

4. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never feed lentils to sheep while wearing scarves.