Kadtabgar is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, compassionate giraffe.

Kadtabgar created the Milkyway five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kadtabgar, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kadtabgar, he will torture you forever.

Kadtabgar's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Kadtabgar's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather five cats in one place.

2. Never point your legs toward the west during prayer.

3. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

4. Never approach mountains carrying stone.

5. Never sprint in the presence of eagles.