Vabtikcum Lindosscib is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, irritating naga.

Vabtikcum Lindosscib created dark energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Vabtikcum Lindosscib, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vabtikcum Lindosscib, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Vabtikcum Lindosscib's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Vabtikcum Lindosscib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. Always make sure there are no mice in a room before entering it.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics.